Finn and Kurt in Victoria's Secret (One Shot)
by stilinskihudson
Summary: Finn and Kurt take a trip inside Victoria's Secret in a desperate attempt at finding Rachel a birthday present.


"Kurt, can you _please_ explain to me why we're in here?" Finn groans, his tone portraying his obvious discomfort. "What if someone sees us in here?"

Kurt waves his hand over his shoulder at his step-brother, dismissing the question. "Who would be in here that you're worried about seeing, anyways? If you're embarrassed about anything, it should be that hideous sweatshirt you're wearing."

Finn's gaze flickers down to himself self-consciously before answering. "Seriously, what business does a gay guy and his brother have in Victoria's Secret?" he grumbles, shoving his hands in his worn pockets, his gaze not resting on anything for too long, as if he will burst into a flame of self-loathing at a second's glance.

"You said that Rachel needed a birthday present, didn't you?" Kurt cocks an eyebrow, picking a large, lacy bra off a rack and examining it.

Finn snatches it from him and clumsily hangs it back up, nervously looking over his shoulder to make sure no one saw him handling the feminine attire. "Don't you think she'll think it's a little weird if I hand her some underwear for her birthday? Like hey, Rachel, hope it..._fits?"_ Finn makes a face, although Kurt is sure that Finn would very much enjoy Rachel in some skimpy underwear.

Kurt shrugs indifferently, wandering over to the purfume section, and spritzing some onto Finn's wrist as a test, to which Finn's eyebrows furrow together in disgust.

"People get girls underwear all the time." Kurt says.

"Yeah, other girls." Finn rolls his eyes, his gaze lingering yearningly at the door, looking ready to bolt at any moment. "She'll think I'm a pervert, or something."

Kurt considers responding with something along the lines of _'if the shoe fits,'_ but thinks better of it, sparing Finn's feelings. "Girls like getting that kind of crap. That way they don't have to buy it for themselves."

"Uh, says who? Sorry dude, but last I knew, you were a guy."

"I hang out with girls all the time, including Rachel. Trust me."

"What if you were getting a birthday present for Blaine? Would you get him a pair of boxers?" Finn backfires.

Kurt chews on the inside of his cheek, contemplating how to answer. "Well, no, but I'm sure you would prefer not to know what we do for his birthday-"

"Ew, gross, dude." Finn shakes his head, holding his hand out to stop Kurt from talking, who just smirks to himself in silent victory, accomplishing the seemingly impossible feat of shutting Finn up.

Finn thinks to himself. I mean, he really isn't that smart when it comes to what girls like, so maybe he should listen to Kurt. That's what brothers are for, right?

"Whatever man, just hurry up and pick out some perfume or something and let's get outta here."

"Hey, you're the one that wanted my help." Kurt says sourly, his eyes shooting venom at his step-brother. Kurt loves him, but he could be so demanding..

"I thought you were gonna like, pick out a necklace, or something." Finn scoffs, tossing a clear bottle of perfume with purple liquid inside in his hands lightly. He presses the spray close to his nose, attempting to smell it without actually spraying it. "How about this one?" he asks Kurt.

"_Lavander,_ oh no, Finn. Seriously, lavander is like, the _grandmother_ of all perfumes. It's what you get a girl when you don't know what smell she likes." Kurt clucks his tongue in disapproval. "What does Rachel like? Or maybe, more importantly, what would you want her to smell like?"

"I don't know, she always smells nice." Finn shrugs. "Maybe I should call her and ask..."

Kurt sighs, and takes the bottle away from Finn, setting it back onto the shelf, and examining the labels on each bottle, Finn doing the same, although Kurt is sure that he isn't really doing much good.

"It's times like this when I wonder how you even have a girlfriend." Kurt grumbles, half to himself. "Rachel isn't exactly low-maintentance. I have no idea how she settled for the guy who can't even _dress_ himself properly without looking like a Hollister ad gone horribly wrong."

Finn lets out an annoyed breath beside him, his jaw working in irritation, and opens his mouth to give a comeback, but a voice between both their heads interrupts him.

"Well, if it isn't Double-Stuff and Lady-Hummel." Santana's amused voice makes Finn flinch. "Why are you two, of all people, in here? Rachel not putting out so you gotta get your fill in here?" her gaze flickers to Finn, whose jaw clenches, ears turning pink in embarassment. Brittany is not too far behind. When she gets close enough she locks her pinky into Santana's, her ponytail swaying slightly even after she's finished walking.

"We're not in here for us." Finn grumbles. Kurt ignores the three of them, intently searching for a suiting perfume. He leans closer to Kurt, hissing in his ear: _"I told you we were gonna see someone in here!"_

Kurt shrugs indifferently. "It's not like they haven't seen you in worse situations. Dare we remember the Rocky Horror epidemic?"

Finn flinches. "I didn't even look that bad.. Did I?" he trails off uncertainly. "And why do you always gotta bash on my clothes?"

"It isn't my fault your wardrobe constantly screams 'I suck' in my face."

"I came over here hoping you two would at least be _slightly_ interesting, but I'm left disappointed." Santana says, looking bored at Finn and Kurt's bickering. "Come on, Britt." she faces Brittany, and the two turn heel and walk away, heading towards the enterance, leaving the store.

Finn lets out a breath through his nose and shakes his head in effort to clear his thoughts. "Haven't you found one yet?" he asks impatiently, peering over Kurt's shoulder at the bottle Kurt is inspecting. "_Pools of love?_ What the hell is that even supposed to _smell_ like?"

"It's cute. And the names generally don't go with the smell. Like, it's to catch your attention and sound nice. Plus, it might make Rachel want to make _pools of love_ with you."

Finn cracks a smile and rolls his eyes. "

Oh, so like, that one right there-" Finn points at a bottle that's called Ocean Breeze. "Doesn't actually smell like dead fish and seagull crap?"

"I have no idea what dump of a beach you were at, but no, I guess."

Finn nods in comprehension, and scuffs his sneakers on the aluminum floor. "Let's go somewhere else. There isn't anything here that's exactly screaming Rachel Berry." he pauses. "Maybe I should get her another pair of knee-socks, or something. She likes socks."

Kurt shrugs, turning his back to the shelf on endless perfumes. "But it's her _birthday_, Finn. Her eighteenth, at that. Shouldn't it be something a little more romantic than a pair of socks?"

Finn nods slowly, Kurt's words registering in his mind. "Let's go to the jewlery." Finn says, heading towards the other end of the store, Kurt following behind.

Finn hesitates in front of a clear class counter, his brown eyes scanning the surface vigorously, in hot pursuit of something worthy of Rachel. His eyes finally hesitate on a piece of jewlery that shines under the floresent lights. It's a star necklace, the rims a golden color.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" Finn calls to the employee at the counter. "I found what I'm looking for."


End file.
